Cinta, Eksistensialisme, English, Puisi, Uncategorized


My hunger

I have told you this thousands of years ago

my hunger

is a monster you can never comprehend

Hell, I can’t even comprehend it myself

My hunger, my hunger

I run like mad horse

a black cube in the desert floating

made of pitch darkness

bottomless vacuum

my hunger, my hunger

How can I love you and live with this hunger

but how can I tell you about this hunger

when you have lost your limbs for me

And my dear doctor asked

“Will you satisfiy your hunger with a new prey?”

To be honest I’d rather die

Yet here I am devouring love

of a Goddess while chewing

at yout bones

Cinta, Puisi

Ini Kabar Dia Yang Kau Tanyakan

Buang ke bintang-bintang, cerita kita pernah jadi binatang berpunuk dua di sarang peri-peri hutan kota ini.

Kadang lara ada dan tiada, seperti cintamu yang kau sembur di lidah dan ludahnya, hingga semburatnya di dadamu, di perutmu, tapi tidak di mulutmu.

Mulutmu hanya untuk ku. Bibirmu adalah liang menuju sungai-sungai waktu, surai-surai di derai-derai pelangi; kaki-kakinya menghubungkan lidahmu dan lidahku.

Dan lidahku di liangmu, kau menggelinjang dan dawai-dawai ribuan syarafmu kumainkan dengan jari-jemari ajaib ku. Desah, resah akan akhir sebuah kisah yang bisa jadi sangat menyakitkan karena semua ini tak terasa salah.

Namun kita tahu ada tabu ditabuh dalam ritme tubuh kita. Maka kita saling menolak cinta, dan kita buang kata-kata ke angkasa.

Menjadi meteor-meteor yang menabrak bintang-bintang. Memandu arah jalan pulang, jiwa-jiwa yang mengejar kerinduan.

Jakarta, 2020.

Alam, Cinta, Eksistensialisme, English, Puisi


In your sleep I found
the five rivers of the underworld

Your lips, as sweet as ródi paliá
the fruit of Persephone, as she sang
with the song of your heartbeat,
and with it came Charon and his boat,
to take me, from river Acheron to beyond

I caressed your hair, strings of spirits
woven by the weird sisters

Every time you got anxious
and took one of those strings
someone died, and lost
to the river Styx

That was how powerful you are, my vvitch, my Dionysian Nymph

As I watched you drifting in slumber
I closed my eyes and still I found you
on Phlegethon, the river of fire
where you took my hand,
and taught me to dance

And in that dance, I knew your name:

L, was for Lethe
the river of forgetfulness
where I drank to oblivion
to put all burden and sadness
and froze them in Cocytus,
the river of burning ice, where
treachery and lies were kept
in Tartarus, with other Titans

As you drifted, I drifted
five rivers, took me to Hades
the outcast, the most beautiful God
the beholder of the truth
and the master of the only
real thing ever existed:

He touched my face and and I smiled
because he, the estranged God,
was the sinister who matched you and me
in the wheel of destiny and fate

He created Love not by cupid’s arrow,
but built it carefully, with pain and sorrow,
broke everything we know
no fear of tomorrow
just the magic of now
and the happiness we sow

Cinta, Eksistensialisme, English, Puisi

With You

With you I do believe in magic
and fairies, and omen, and sacrifice

With you I do believe that I can endure
persevere, and nothing can stop me but death

and death is the ultimate magic of all
it is the one absolute, most powerful
and certain with zero possibility:
an end to unpredictability of life

In death we can be sure
what comes around goes around

And in death separation is closed
in life, separation could have closure

What’s after death? Nobody came back to tell

After life? Death. Done.