Too productive Keep poor No drinking because poor and gout Never exercise anywhere Getting on quarrel with your associate employee contemporaries At tense Eating bad (more instant noodle dinners and saturated fats) Non patient, bad driver A wrecked car (no kids or family) Sleeping hard (bad dreams or not sleeping at all) Always paranoia Missing my former animal (I don’t have time to visit him in my ex wife’s house) Avoid old friends (fuck chitchat about shit) Will forgetfully check credit at (moral) bank (hole in the wall) Favours for nothing Broke but in love Too much Charity for dip-shits On Sundays get more depressed (Suicidal or self harm thoughts putting boiling water on my hands while cooking noodle) Never wash the car (not even on Sundays) Always afraid of the dark or midday shadows Always so ridiculously teenage and desperate Always so childish At a worst pace Slower but not better No chance of escape Not self-employed Concerned (but powerless) An empowered and informed member of society (idealism is dead) Often cry in public Get illness at every chance Tyres that might blow up anytime (thus no baby) A bad memory Avoid good films, don’t want to activate trauma Still kisses when possible Often empty and frantic Like a dog Beat by a stick That’s distributed into Cheap restaurant on the bus terminal (the ability to scream with every blood clot) Anxious Fatter, sickier and too productive A man In a room Avoiding medication.
It is love at first sight, that glimpses of you, that enables every man to create and play God.
Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, And so does love, a blooming imagination of one’s perception.
So loving each other is an illusion we tell ourselves that we see, feel, and want the same thing but truly we don’t.
We are playing a game, of guessing and if only we play it objectively then love fails.
For it is the trick and treat, the horror of uncertainty, the faith of the unrequited, that gives meaning to our feelings.
Thus love made a fool of us all, in daydreams and ecstasy, and when we know the truth that we love not the person but only the persona we learn Melancholy.
And thus, the energy burns, we can put it in urns, or start a war in turns, or let emotion adjourn so we can return to be reborn.
Devotion is love at first sight, first sight is when you realize there is a sight you cannot compartmentalize so you got to write, draw, record, play, sing, dance…
Conception is a blessing, from a sight that is nesting, From the first time you see, hear, and yearn to earn the impossible love impregnate your mind, with Platonic perception of perfection.
I love you, and it is my business only, If you love me, it is your business.
And if we are to join the holy sacrament, We can give our body But we will mind our own soul.
That is how all great art was started.
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All this talk about AI and automation worries many people about their lives and relevancy. But I think the most worrisome thing is when they are replaced by machines who can do what they do. For hard labor, it has been a concern for centuries, but artists never really think that creativity can be replaced. Stories and visual arts were not to worry that they might lose their jobs, until today, when AI and machine learning can do better than the average human.
Photo by Dan Cristian Pu0103dureu021b on Pexels.com
Well, it is scary when you lose your professional work, wealth, and your source of income. Skills that you have acquired by investing in education and portfolios for many years could be just gone. But I think, people ought to find their relevance with other people and face challenges to be more creative than the machine. We are, after all, perfect with our imperfections. Unlike machines we can get bored, we can break the rules, and we can make something out of the box, as long as we realize what the box is and where it is.
In a world where AI and automation are becoming increasingly prevalent, it’s crucial for individuals to adapt and embrace the changes rather than succumb to fear and anxiety. While it may seem daunting to imagine being replaced by machines, there’s still a unique and irreplaceable aspect of humanity that sets us apart.
As artists, writers, creators, and thinkers, we possess a profound capacity for imagination and emotion that machines cannot replicate. Our ability to express nuanced feelings, tell captivating stories, and convey the depth of human experience is what gives art its soul. No matter how advanced technology becomes, it will always lack the essence of true human expression.
Moreover, it is important to note that AI and machine learning are tools that have the potential to enhance and amplify our creativity, rather than diminish it. With the right blend of human intuition and technological assistance, we can push the boundaries of what is possible and embark on new artistic endeavors that were previously beyond reach.
Ultimately, our worth and relevance as artists are not solely determined by our technical skills or current job market demands. It is our unique perspectives, emotions, and ability to connect with others on a deep and meaningful level that make us indispensable in this rapidly evolving world.
Writing is not just about expressing myself, but also a way to organize my thoughts and emotions. While AI can assist with some aspects of writing, I believe in the power of human creativity and the joy of expressing myself through words. So I will keep on writing, and building connections with my readers.
AI can never replace human experience and human needs to make art. And art will always find a way to be more creative than ever, always opening new doors and possibilities.
xxx
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Are there any possibilities that someone over-criticizes themselves or others? I don’t think so. I put the word critic, critical, as one of the highest modes of thinking. Criticism is what makes dialectic possible. If, and only if, someone is considered overcritical, they probably do it the wrong way.
Critic for me is an action that takes a lot of consideration. You need proper context and deeper thinking, you ought to ask the right questions, and you got to know what you don’t know. Spitting words to degrade someone is not a critic, it’s a bully. Telling yourself wrong and jumping to conclusions about yourself is as bad as bullying.
Thus, critics need to be done at the right time and in the right state of mind. And one has to be always aware of oneself objectively, no matter how one feels. The feeling cannot be criticized since it cannot be controlled. But one can always control one’s behavior if one’s body is healthy enough no matter how one feels.
Now, within this context, let’s talk about self-criticism. Let me first give an example, about myself.
I am diagnosed with manic depression, or Bipolar 1. I haven’t taken any medication for that disorder for almost two years. I am highly functional, and reading and writing therapy has helped me a lot in coping with my mental illness. Today I ‘feel’ like I have complete control of my life. I am content and happy, I am independent and able to help a lot of people, I work my job magnificently and I have doubts about all those good things.
These doubts come because I have experience in being tricked by my feelings whether they are negative or positive feelings. In my experience, being over-optimistic is another red flag of something wrong with me. So I try to write again and examine my writings and my feelings. Then I analyze it as if the person who wrote this journal is not me. Well, philosophically speaking, I am not the person I was when I wrote them. Different feelings, moods, time, and context.
I conclude that I have managed my manic disorder, but in the functionalities of my life, there are hidden suicidal thoughts that are fused with some type of depression. You see, I am quite proud that I can manage, predict, and control my manic state and depression state throughout years of therapy and struggle. I have gained success in terms of my work. I can eat whatever I want, and go wherever I go. I have the lovely girlfriend of my dream, the freedom to make films or teach or learn the things that I adore. In my manic state, I could write, shoot, teach, and produce a lot of things almost simultaneously. Then I will go home and had a deep rest because I was depressed. My depression is controlled. It is a logical consequence of my manic state. So I am functional because I recognize the cycle of my mania and my depression. Good?
Not exactly. Because my life now is just manic and depressed. I have a plan to care more for myself, eat healthy, have a regular sleeping cycle, and work out. But the plan is lost to the depression. And when the depression is gone, I need to get back to work.
There were times when I could overcome this easily. But it is getting harder to fix my life every time a long and hard project that creates irregularities is over. It’s getting harder to get out of bed after depression to reset my room or my body. I binged eating and trying so hard to be unhealthy.
At one point I even think, maybe I am having a subconscious suicidal tendency. I am starting to think that my behavior is a way to self-destruct.
Anyway, I think I need a shrink. Will get back to you guys after a few good sessions. In the meantime, I will enjoy this mood and irrelevancy of my life. It might be just my age factor–a symptom you have when you are almost 40 years old.
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Eseinosa
Esei Nosa 