Cinta, English, Puisi

Lament L’amour

All these stories, are just a bunch of words and interpretations.

You name the stars, the scars, the bars you put up high to hide to reach to confine to define to find….

You and me in different cell but the same prison.

Freudian dreams, Jungian Myths, Lacanian Imagination and Kafkaesque absurdity…

Don’t you think reality is just another story?

With you I am rock and roll; that sleepless drunk poet looking for the devil, pretending to pay a debt with something he no longer have: his soul.

Without you, my mood is jazz and blues, ups and downs with sax and brass an ex with grass then sex and breast.

I never have anywhere to go, so I follow every ho who says land ho! I guess they always want to settle in an island but the wave give ride to the night and right, I have no right to stay for the devil hath take my soul and the full moon tide is my mood.

My jazz and blues mood. My jizz and bliss food.

No wonder you’re gone for good.

Cinta, Eksistensialisme, English, Puisi

O, Brother!

O, brother
Why have thou come hither?

The morrow are being wither
Bone marrow are being batter
My sorrow will not be better
I can’t give thou bread and butter

For I, too, hold my hunger
You shall have to suffer

O, brethen
You call me heathen
Burn me at stake
make me a steak

My meat is meek
Blood wine as sleek
What will you seek
After I break?

Live like Jesus die like Jesus
Beelzebub babbling bobbling pus
Brother will you let me pass
working as hard as an ass

To give food on your family plate
To be good as a man on a gate
To be fooled by your poor little slate
To die bold on the hands of my mate.

O, brother
Why have thou come hither?

Can’t thou love me any better
Than to be sad and bitter?






English, Film/Video, Portfolio

On The Haunting Witch-Demon Pontianak

This is a full interview conducted by UK film Scholar, Rosalind Galt, for her upcoming book on horror of Southeast Asia. Before you read, do watch the film. Tell me what you think in the comment section.

-Why did you want to make a pontianak film?

The idea came from my film workshop student, Agung Setiawan, who is now a Philosophy lecturer in a university in Bangka Belitung, Sumatra. I’ve always wanted to make a horror/myth film with classic touch, black and white, almost no sound, and my student idea was raw but it was a start. I also wanted to make something like Nosferatu (1922) or long shots film like some scenes in Kubrick’s The Shining. Pontianak or Kuntilanak in Indonesia is a popular demon-witch, appears in many films and tv shows, and I wanted to make it out of the ordinary images of vengeance toward men, or some ghost sitting on tree. So I change my student original script with more research and plot twist. 

–One of the film’s surprises is that the pontianak is not a threat but is there to save her friend. Why did you want to imagine a ‘good’ pontianak?


I learnt a lot about feminism in myth and film from Intan Paramditha, a well known Indonesian writer and film critic. In her horror folklore class I learned that every demon has cultural and psychological background. They represent the fear of the society. So far the legend told us that Pontianak is a woman who eat fetus to stay young, and at the same time we have Sundel Bolong, a demon who, in the classic cult Indonesian film Malam Satu Suro (1988, played by Suzanna), becomes a man’s beautiful wife and domesticated after a nail was being penetrated to her head by another male (her foster father).

From this I tried to deconstruct the myth by staying faithful to its demonization narrative, but interpret the demonization as a creative way to achieve freedom. My imagination of Pontianak is not good nor bad. I simply put more complex motivation on the representation of women. 

–I’m really interested in how your film creates a relationship of care and intimacy between the two women, and how there are no men in the film. Do you think of the pontianak as having feminist potential? 

I think all female demon have feminist potential. Most demon/ghost in Asia are women, representation of uncontrollable nature. And its quite different from, let say, Bram Stoker’s Dracula in which female demons are controlled by male demon. In Asia, female demons are representations of repressed freedom, or vengeance toward (mostly) men. I once read a book about western and eastern image of the feminine (I forgot the writer’s name though). I remember that western image of the feminine are represented by Freudian Psychoanalysis that sees women as emotional and unstable, penis envy, etc. While the eastern sees women in accordance to Al Bukhari & Muslims or Hinduism in which women posses a really huge power that need to be contain either by closing their appearance, or putting them in chain–or in Pontianak case, penetrate their head (mind), with a nail (a long sharp erected object representing penis). So yeah, sure it has feminist potential when the nail is being pulled out of her head. 

–There even seems to be a hint that the women are romantically together – were you interested in playing with that idea?

Yes I do. Hahahaha… But that’s just a small tone. Glad you saw it. 

–Did you grow up watching Pontianak films? Or hearing stories? What drew you to this figure?

My father came from the remote area of Mempawah, West Kalimantan, about 4 hours from the city of Pontianak (go figure, haha). So I grow up with this legend a little bit closer than most people. I have heard stories of local demons since I was a kid, every time I visit my father home village. 

–Did you want particular ‘looks’ for your lead actresses? I think part of the surprise is that the actress who plays the pregnant woman looks less like a traditional pontianak than the other actress. How did you approach casting?

For the casting, I wanted to start in showing what most Indonesian-Malay people knows about Pontianak: beautiful, tall, long hair, white dress. It’s a start, and Ratu Annisaa Suryasumirat fit the role well.

Then I choose Klara Virencia, an Indonesian-Chinese, as the other Pontianak with the red dress because if you go to Pontianak and Mempawah (or Kalimantan as a whole) Indonesian-Chinese have been part of their culture for centuries. Klara uses red dress at the end of the film to represent another demon well known to the Chinese and Malay people: the Chinese woman in Red.

I remember having an uncle who used to rob Chinese grave near my home village, since the Chinese-Indonesian buried many expensive stuff with their dead. And during those robbery, my uncle told me he was haunted by this ghost in red dress. So yeah, I put Klara in the film as another of Pontianak, to put more ethnic profile of the area of Kalimantan. 

–I haven’t heard of the rice bowl protection – is that a real belief?

Yes it is. I have interviewed some pregnant mother in my village, and this ritual is still being done in the remote area. As an ethnographer, I interpret all three protections as domestication of women: mirror represent her beauty and sexuality, broom represent her role in keeping the house clean, and rice represent her role in cooking. In Indonesia we have the famous phrase Dapur-Sumur-Kasur. Dapur (Kitchen) as represented by the rice. Sumur (Well, where women work to take water to clean the house) represented by the broom, and kasur (bed) represent sexual intercourse. These are three domestic area which bind women. Thus freedom, must untangled these area. 

What are you working on now?

I am building my film workshop (mondiblanc.org), in which I give workshops for free for college students and young professionals to make their own films/video so they will be able to communicate visually. Hopefully I can make a film school, free of charge too, someday. Its a long term project. 

I am also shooting some short films with my students either as a writer, producer, director, or executive producer. We wanted to be some sort of side-stream movement in filmmaking. Now I am producing a horror series both for workshop purposes and for youtube content. Some other stuff is also in pre production and post production. A long term science fiction-romance film is in preproduction. A romantic comedy seires in postproduction. Many many things going on simultaneously. Haha.


I hope these answers can help you with your book. Ask me further questions if you need to. Sorry to be so late in replying. I just got back to Indonesia. and stil a little jetlag.

Anthropology, English, Film/Video, Filsafat, Kurasi/Kritik, Politik, Racauan

Conspiracy (kon-spi-ra-si) | LockDown Series Episode 3

For Indonesian language scroll down.

In a YouTube conspiracy theory and fake news channel, a bio terrorism suspect named Juan Dominic is telling the audience how he and his extremist groups started the corona virus. The host of the show, Brian Juno, is setting a trap for Dominic–but Dominic is also setting a trap for Juno, and all humanity.

Dalam sebuah channel teori konspirasi, seorang tersangka bio terorisme bernama kode Juan Dominic membeberkan cara dan alasan penyebaran virus Covid 19. Pembawa acara Brian Juno berusaha menjebak sang teroris. Tapi yang tidak ia sangka, sang teroris juga berusaha menjebaknya; dan seluruh umat manusia.

Me and my friend Camilo made this video to participate in LockDown Series production conducted by MondiBlanc Film Workshop. We usually spent hours talking about philosophy or politics, so what the hell, we just made a fiction out of our usual conversation. This is an essay in a fiction form. Enjoy!

Saya dan sahabat saya Camillo membuat video ini untuk mengikuti rangkaian produksi Lock Down Series yang diprakarsai oleh MondiBlanc Film Workshop. Kami bisa menghabiskan waktu ngobrol berpanjang-panjang soal filsafat dan segala macam teori konspirasi, maka tak ada salahnya kami pakai obrolan kami untuk membuat sebuah karya fiksi yang berdasarkan data dan fakta-fakta— beberapa pastinya ada yang ngawur. Karenanya, ini adalah sebuah esei dialog berbentuk drama fiksi.

Untuk memudahkan penonton Indonesia, saya sudah membuat subtitle bahasa Indonesia untuk episode ini. Silahkan aktifkan close caption youtube dan pilih bahasa Indonesia. Selamat menikmati esei dalam bentuk drama fiksi via zoom ini.