English, Memoir, Racauan, Uncategorized

Handwriting and Thought-wringing

So I have to get back to a point where it all started, the roots of all my problem: myself, deep inside. I have to re-learn things, this time with more precaution and slower pace. So I will get back to handwriting. Some of the things in my notes people will never see, some I will transcribe here after a deep thought.

Healing is not enough. I have to reconstruct and be honest to myself. I have to accept the fact that people have free will, and so do I. Consent must be respected, discontent discontinued by disregarding regrets.

And so I bid you adieu for this chapter of my life, and welcoming you to a phase of waiting. You will meet me again, as the same person but older and hopefully wiser.

A few projects ahead: I am producing a new horror series for Youtube, composing new songs for my solo (or probably duo) album, and getting back to writing literature.

Some people I know choose not to produce. They are waiting for some sort of muse or something, or a good time that, heck, will never come. I pushed enough to make these people make something out of their miserable life, that I forgot how miserable I am. Fortunately I am blessed with this melancholy and energy to create. So fuck you bystanders, I ain’t gonna wait. You can wait all you fucking want. I’m doing this, secretly, daily, until the day I decided to end my life.

A plan is a plan after all. Without acting, even nothing will refuse to exist.

 


Eksplorasi konten lain dari Esei Nosa

Berlangganan untuk dapatkan pos terbaru lewat email.

Tinggalkan komentar

Situs ini menggunakan Akismet untuk mengurangi spam. Pelajari bagaimana data komentar Anda diproses.