Cinta, English, Puisi

The Muse of Catalonia

It is love at first sight,
that glimpses of you,
that enables every man
to create and play
God.

Beauty is in the eyes
of the beholder,
And so does love,
a blooming imagination
of one’s perception.

So loving each other is
an illusion we tell ourselves
that we see, feel, and want
the same thing but
truly we don’t.

We are playing a game,
of guessing and if only
we play it objectively
then love fails.

For it is the trick and treat,
the horror of uncertainty,
the faith of the unrequited,
that gives meaning to our feelings.

Thus love made a fool of us all,
in daydreams and ecstasy,
and when we know the truth that
we love not the person
but only the persona
we learn
Melancholy.

And thus, the energy burns,
we can put it in urns,
or start a war in turns,
or let emotion adjourn
so we can return
to be reborn.

Devotion is love at first sight,
first sight is when you realize
there is a sight you cannot compartmentalize
so you got to write, draw, record, play, sing, dance…

Conception is a blessing,
from a sight that is nesting,
From the first time you see,
hear, and yearn to earn
the impossible love
impregnate your mind,
with Platonic perception
of perfection.

I love you,
and it is my business only,
If you love me,
it is your business.

And if we are to join
the holy sacrament,
We can give our body
But we will mind
our own soul.

That is how all great art was started.


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Eksistensialisme, English, Meditasi Tulis, Puisi, Racauan

It’s that time again

It’s that time again when I have become sleepless. And in this state of mind, glimpses of horrendous images comes to mind unexpectedly, triggered by unprecedented scene. I will not give you the context of these images. I just want to share these aesthetically awful memories that will haunt me for the rest of my life.

The body of a friend who got hit by a train.

Strains of hair of an ex girlfriend on the sink.

The scar under the belly of a loved one.

The warm chest of my father who just passed, blood on his lips because he bite his tongue.

Corpse of my uncle, skinny, dark, blood from his mouth, ear, eyes, nose. His body bent and stiffed.

The smell of fresh linen out of my crush uniform in High School.

Her smile while giving me warm milk in morning. The taste of that milk.

The rope on my neck on a failed suicide attempt.

My salty tears, and the wind on my face while driving my motorcycle, after a family tragedy.

That rain when I went home from her house, walking for hours.

The sound of my brother adzan on my father’s grave.

A picture of a woman I love, naked with another man.

These are slide of films, that will bug me for the rest of my life.

And as long as I am alive, my life will always produce it, more and more.

I hope I can be better at editing it.

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Cinta, Eksistensialisme, Kontributor, Puisi

Lara

Dia cantik, mempesona dan gemerlap
Dia bahagia, memikat dan memukau
Dia hebat, bersinar dan candu
Jalan buntu menghalangi, menghujam, dan mematung
Lara tak dapat ditolak, namun tidak untuk diundang
Tersenyum tak menampak
Tertawa tak melepas
Hanya sebuah karya Tuhan yang mendamba embun
Lalu bagaimana lara membunuhnya?
Biarlah ia mati, dan kan ku hidupkan lagi dia yang lalu

ISMI, 2022

 Ismi Budiawan mengakui dirinya sebagai Perempuan Matahari dan Broadcaster of Happiness

Follow Ismi di @ismibudiawan (instagram)


Ini adalah tulisan pertama dari kontributor eseinosa. Jika kamu ingin berkontribusi, silahkan email tulisanmu ke kontributor@eseinosa.com , dengan subjek “kontributor eseinosa”.

Kamu tidak akan dibayar, tapi saya akan bantu edit dan peer review atau edit esei, cerpen, puisi, review, atau racauanmu, jika sedang ada waktu dan saya suka.

Kontributor, Puisi

Tak Bersayap

Semua mata menatap bengis
Isi kepala memendam kebencian
Nurani tak lagi jernih
Jiwa tak berhati
Mengapa harus tak rela?
Sedang aku sempat mendaki saat kau mendayung
Mengapa tuan tak ikhlas?
Sedang kau berkidung syahdu saat aku beriak, memohon, dan menyembah
Merpati terbang menuju bulan
Cahaya surga mendampingi
“Hai, apa kabar?” katanya
Terlalu melampaui sayapnya mengepak
Hingga patah berhamburan

ISMI, 2022

Ismi Budiawan adalah seorang Perempuan Matahari dan Broadcaster of Happiness.
follow dia di @ismibudiawan (instagram)