There is no outside world just this room spacey, controllable environment and I am free, inside
I escape reality reject responsibility my body and mind lack capability to move, strive, struggle, no agility
But I am not running, no how can I run if I can’t even stand, nor speak, nor think straight or see the light that bestowed upon me
But I do believe in love, that surpasses all I do believe that if we love each other, all of these sickness does not matter, love does not make it better or worse, it will put fidelity in the gutter
What it surpass is our understanding to one another and to ourselves
That there is no bad intentions in loving one another but dire consequences lies in unfulfilled desire
Despair is the sickness everyone must endure unto death
I love you and nothing can stop that
But we can stop hurting each other by stopping those that entails love.
Kata-kata menguap, menyerap ke pori-pori
dan kau adalah oksigen ke paru-paru
stimulan kehidupan, memabukkan
tapi hidup,
melenakan tapi hidup,
sementara kesadaran adalah kematian.
Kebebasan, pembebasan, jaga keseimbangan
agar tidak kebablasan, ketersesatan ada di setiap lekukan jalan
Aih, begitu banyak kawan yang jadi penipu, pelacur
pencuri, perusak, permainan berbahaya
bisakah kau dan aku tetap percaya
bahwa kita saling menjaga
bukan lawan main
tapi kolaborator
Biarkan aku menenangkanmu
dan kau, aku
ketika badai itu datang
rengkuh aku dalam gua-gua pikiranmu
dan aku akan nyalakan api Plato
takdir datang tak ketuk pintu. barangkali ia lupa tata krama yang santun ketika bertamu. tak ada salam yang kita dengar dari dapur, atau tanda-tanda kabar ketika pamit keluar.
takdir datang tak ketuk pintu. barangkali kita lupa jadi tuan rumah yang menerima, menjamu tamu sekali waktu. tak ada rencana yang bisa kita baca di surat kabar, atau suratan yang mampir di kotak pos.
sekali-kali musti kita mau siaga menengok dan menyiapkan ia masuk.
Nobody wants to love anybody
If there is love, its not a choice
Because if you want to love somebody
You don’t love, you’re just lonely
I
You see yourself in the mirror
and people say,
you should love yourself first
before you love others
but no matter how beautiful you are
if the love its not there, then its not there
Then like the old cliche
of gratefulness and making happiness
you make the best of yourself
and try to love what you are
and that’s not too bad, though you certainly fail
you never ask to be born anyway
Since only narcissists
who love themselves selfishly
and condemned to be drown
in the self-absorbed ego-maniacal pond
Thus, unable to love others truthfully
socially crippled as a pathological psychopath
or destructive bipolar, hurting others around them
Nothing good comes out of beautiful narcissist
except probably some good selfies taken from one angle
you don’t want to look bad with that amount of ego
and in the end, self mutilating is the only answer
just to make you keep loving yourself
“Vincent Van Gogh Self-Portrait with Cut Ear” by Eric Wayne.
II
Nobody wants to love anybody
because other people is hell
but when it comes like a disease
like death, it is inevitable
like life, it will grow
and like desperation
you will die with it
But love is not a wolf, its not your desire
its not a matter of feeding which wolves
you can deprived it of actions or efforts
you can buried it alive with distractions
but it will stay where it is
alive and kicking
And there will always be moments
that make a glimpse feels like a lifetime
in between your thoughts and works
or on your bed, when you look at the ceiling
You see faces of your loved ones:
one that got away, one that died,
one that never love you back,
and one that sleeps beside you
as a complete stranger
And those moments, my friends,
is what they called
Eseinosa
Esei Nosa 